Filed under: TV
So I’ve been watching Stargate in some form since oh, my senior year of high school. That’s when it came out. On Showtime, full frontal nudity, S01E01, I was there. Hated the movie, loved the show. I loved the show when Daniel left, I loved the show when he came back, I loved the show when RDA disappeared for long stretches of time and I loved the show when Farscape invaded and made me laugh again. I loved the Goa’uld, I loved the Noc, I loved the Ancients, and hell, sometimes I even wanted to plant a big wet one on a Replicator’s perpetually scowling cheek. For 10 season I watched every episode, every Friday, and I was happy.
Then for reasons I will never understand, you canceled it, and took my happy Fridays away from me. In return, you gave us Atlantis. Atlantis was, while not Stargate, also enjoyable. Slightly more stereotypical sci-fi than it’s original, it was still the same amazing writing, story arcs, and brilliant acting. No complaints from me there.
Then again, for reasons I can sort of understand but don’t totally agree with, you canceled it. And gave me… a MMORPG and a vague ETA on Stargate: Universe.
Fast forward to about a month ago. S:U finally comes out, I think I’m going back to my happy Fridays after eons of nothing but crap reality TV and frustration with networks constantly canceling good drama, and I get pretty excited when I sit down to watch it for the first time.
So, here’s what I think, from a completely biased long-term fan who has watched Stargate in some form or another for oh, 13 years now: What the fuck happened?
I’m going to compare Atlantis to Universe, because frankly, it’s the same exact story wherein Universe is like your B team, and Atlantis was far and away your A team. And that’s not even a knock on the actors, because there are some pretty good ones on Universe too.
The young, troubled hero: on Atlantis it was Sheppard, on Universe it’s… some pilot whose name I can’t remember who appears to be a religious zealot who got some chick pregnant and instead of becoming a priest he went on to be a military jock who screws chicks in a very graphic and unappealing way in the utility closet. I don’t mind sex scenes in sci-fi, but I don’t like gratuitous sex scenes on any show really, and seeing as I can’t find any real reason to have put that in there my only conclusion is that it was gratuitous and someone wanted to finally put a grunting, realistic not-straight-out-of-softcore-porn sex scene on stargate because I guess maybe they thought it boosted BSG’s ratings, and frankly I think that just makes me dislike him even more. Also, he seems rather dim. Sheppard at the very least was interesting right from day 1 when he sat down in the Chair. This guy? Not so much.
The slightly insecure but morally upright leader: Weir (Woolsey and Sam never really left SG1 in my mind) on Atlantis vs. guy who threw some unidentifiable supplies into a bag as the base was exploding and thus hurt his head/neck/back? going through the gate and now has to walk with a limp and so far hasn’t really seemed to be much of a leader otherwise.
The medic: Beckett, and then Keller on Atlantis, both sweet and naive but not cheesily so, just enough so that you want to reach into your TV and give them a hug as they show you they can be one of the heroic ones too, vs. a spunky blonde who so far has stood out with some very good acting and really awesome hair.
The girl: aah yes, the love interest. on Atlantis it was Teyla, the responsible, beautiful and tragic leader of her native people, vs. the (VERY) young politician’s daughter who’s caught the eye of several members of the crew, but so far hasn’t shown me any of the qualities that really made Teyla stand out as her own character (other than admirable acting from the actress while watching her father die-but the character herself? nada.)
The genius: and I hesitate here, because comparing McKay to Rush is… I can’t even think of a suitable metaphor. They don’t compare. McKay was awesome, he was smart, he was annoying, he was at times adorable, and at other times insufferable, but you always, always knew he’d come up with the answer even if he didn’t, and he was freaking hilarious doing it. Rush makes me want to commit acts of violence against my TV. He is annoying, he is rude, he is unbelievably condescending, infantile, petty, selfish, and absolutely, completely unlikable. There is not one redeeming thing about this character, and in THIRTEEN YEARS OF STARGATE I HAVE NOT ONCE FOUND A COMPLETELY UNLIKABLE CHARACTER until now. Even bad guys can be GOOD bad guys, this guy is just an annoying piece of shit that I want to shove out of an airlock and I don’t care if he’s the only way they have of surviving the end of their first season because honestly, I dislike him THAT MUCH.
Eli, I guess, is the wild card. He’s the smart guy you actually like, can speak in coherent sentences, and comes with his own social short-comings. In some ways he’s more like McKay than Rush, although so far no word on a deadly allergy to citrus. He’s probably my favorite character on the show thus far, as you can tell simply by the fact that I’ve now watched 4 hours of the show (the first episode being 2 hours) and he’s only 1 of 2 people who’s names I can actually remember off-hand, and of those the only one I don’t want to repeatedly kick in the balls.
Basically, it’s now 3 shows in and as far as I can tell you have some good acting and some bad acting, some VERY unlikable characters save 1 or 2, and a story-line wherein your biggest enemy is your heroes. In Atlantis, you knew right away where you stood. The Ancients were the good guys and the Wraith were the bad guys, and the humans ran the gambit from everywhere in between. How can a show succeed where you have a very large cast who is still relatively unrecognizable as individuals, and their biggest obstacle (outside of the obvious, they’re stuck on a piece of crap ship a million zillion light-years from earth) is that they just can’t seem to get along.
Which brings me to my final point: Destiny. Seriously? You have the potential in the Ancients to show off some of the coolest toys ever seen, and you go from ATLANTIS which was a huge freaking CITY floating on WATER with unimaginable new pieces of technology hidden, quite literally, around every corner, and you go from THAT, to a rusted out ship which is shot so poorly lit you can barely even see it with nothing but a futuristic camera that can apparently double as a floating google ball, which by the way was completely ripped straight from doctor who? Come on. This is where, in my opinion, the show REALLY falls short. There was so much potential there to explore the Ancients and their technology (cause honestly, like the Goa’uld, they will not, ever, get old) and I get a floating webcam and a rusted-out, powerless, unmanned ship. Which, I guess, more or less sums up my feelings for the show thus far anyway.
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